Green Pastures of the Grey

HOLY-

2011-06-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

HOLY FUCK. 5 YEARS LATER AND I FINALLY GOT THIS ACCOUNT BACK OMG. I FEEL LIKE CRYING.

due to the fact that my old posts were emo as hell (and at the same time resonant of what i still post about now) and the fact that i finally FINALLY have my blogspot back. O___O

time to clean out the cobwebs.

para masave

2006-05-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

pets galore. pt1

2005-06-03T17:29:00.000+08:00

psycho today, cadaver tomorrow.

2005-06-01T13:24:00.000+08:00

it has been a weird week. i'll start off with a little introduction on what happened last sunday. We just left after mass and well of course the same pattern of events happened: i wasn't paying any attention to the priest and other stuff and i didn't even bother to look at my lil sister during the peace be with you part. ok. so everything's a cliche sunday. then it happened. my older sis was to be dropped off at this school near the church. while she was partly outside [get it? one legs on the chair, the car's door's open and her foot is stepping on the ground] i TAPPED my lil sister to move. so she retorted "di pa naman nakalabas si ate ah!". then it broke the promise of having a quiet afternoon at home. my parents went ranting on how i hate my lil sister. my mom said i was mindsetting that hate to make my sister's homelife miserable. so my dad tried talking to me. i wasn't really trying to commune with him. then he tried driving to a point questioning about faith and hatred. so i said: "yeah. i hate her [my lil sister] i got used to thinking that i hate her. i got used to it."

i can't remember the shit i said after that all i know was that i was sobbing uncontrollably and i can't breathe. my dad told me to go outside to drink so i can talk properly. but i said i don't want to. so silence. sob here, sob there. then i was crying and i was laughing. i don't know what my dad was thinking. he even offered a psychologist to me. i said no thanks. it's just a waste of time and money.
so after i got shouted at to go outside to drink since i can't breathe, my dad talked about faith again. he started analyzing me and anakin skywalker. so i go: ???.

it was weird. it was an eye-opener. i think i need a psychologist. or a week or two in an asylum. that will make me feel better, right? or crazier?

~bear out

^_^ quiz time b*tches pt2!!!

2005-05-25T12:51:00.000+08:00

Brute
You are 28% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 100% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Brute! You are introverted, arrogant, brutal, and more intuitive than rational. Like a big, dumb animal, you are driven by your emotions more than your reason, and as a result of the fact that you care very little for the feelings of others, you tend to be rather selfish. Because of your selfishness, you also tend to be a bit arrogant, seeing yourself as big or strong or smart or always correct. This makes you a stubborn, irrational, emotion-driven brute. King Kong best represents the gorilla-version of your personality. Emotional, introverted (King Kong was isolated on his own island, after all), brutal, and arrogant (proud to be the largest ape on Earth!), Kong would probably get along very well with you, seeing as how you share many of the same traits. Aside from, you know, all the fur. So your personality defect is simply that you resemble King Kong to a very high degree. Which probably isn't a good thing, you big brute!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Hand-Raiser.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Class Clown, the Schoolyard Bully, and the Sociopath.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 12% on Rationality

You scored higher than 43% on Extroversion

You scored higher than 99% on Brutality

You scored higher than 66% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating

^_^ quiz time b*tches!

2005-05-24T10:40:00.000+08:00

What Icons are for you? by ladyallie
Username
Favourite Colour
Sex
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
Your Food Icon is...
Your Animal Icon is...
Your Random Icon is...
Your Cartoon Icon is...
Your Sexy Icon is...

Quiz created with MemeGen!

fruits of not doing what's supposed to be done.

2005-05-16T15:18:00.000+08:00

ah fuck. i've been talking to myself lately. hmm. you know what i've been stopping myself from slashing myself and you know what holds me back? the word idiocy. hahaha. i am sooo dumb. i kept thinking: "yeah i hate -----. ----- pisses me off. and now ---- is blaming me for this shit. ah fuck i'm gonna bust up ---- face real soon. make ---- see that ----- is way too over her head. that she's wrong." and then i go: "ah shit. i can't do that. respect that's what they want me to do. but hell, do they care. fine. i'm wrong. i'll not do it. i keep it. i harbor these thoughts. i'll be a good girl. i won't do it. i'll be nuetral. keep my cool. but still mad."

shit. why am i like this? heck i feel like an idiot right now. but if i cut i feel like an idiot again. i try to ------- but that won't work so i resort to -----. too shitty. that's what i am really feeling now. waaay too fucked up.

pfft. i really wish someone would actually approach me and pull me out of the dirthole i'm making myself. i try to hide and stop these shitty things. but of course i can't. i'm just here. here and waiting. here and rotting in this mudpile. i won't tell. i'm always scared. i'm crumbling down and nobody knows. heck. forgive me for my pleas. my requests for attention. my unsatisfied thirst to belong. whatever. i already belong. but i want to be different. so forgive me. bear out~

updating an un-updated blog.

2005-05-03T12:26:00.000+08:00

hayayay.... i just fell like posting so here i am... hmmm... what to do then? bear out~

p.s. if anyone found [or made] a good green and bear-ful blogskin please tell it to me... ()^_^ i am in need of a good and new template.

lessons on porn

2005-04-28T19:14:00.000+08:00

shit... i'm i9n deep shit right now... let's do this subtlely [is there such a word?]
you see i've been doing some weird things lately... ok fine just a while ago... it was fun... kinda good but it's way wrong. anyways, i kinda cut myself after doing this. -.-() i am such an idiot. ok changing the topic: i don't think our band practices are that productive [for the band thing really] so i think we should cut down the number of hours we practice... er... how am i supposed to say this... i think we should do it once a week. i mean, it's summer. we want to do some things for our benefit and the people [in my house] want me to do chores for everyone's benefit. so i think we should just start practicing seriously [since we're always incomplete] a month before our aimed day of participation [?]. ehehehe... it's not that i don't want to continue the band it's just that... it's not productive enough. sure we carved up [whatta term] some original songs. that's unique; but i think we should accept it that... well... hmmm....we're not experienced enough. ok change the word: we have effort, but effort's not the only thing that actually drives the whole band thing. sorry for the stupid ranting it's just that i need [talk about being selfish ^.^()] something to drive away the other things that are filling up my mind. anyways... i'll see you guys [all of you i hope- i mean i wish] next week. bear out~

a post during summer #1

2005-04-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

woohoo... long time no see peepolets of the world wide web. it's been a busy week and i am currently editing my blog. io made two new songs, one with melody the other none. i'm not happy nor sad either thankfully. however i am bored and sick of the cycle of things in the house. and i am nervous on getting my card this friday [shiver.]. anyways, i attended the band practice in aly's house which turned out to be...productive? well, we did finish a song called "the bash" [oh goodie another parody] ^_^. anyways, my dad's not here. what else. i'm planning to teach myself how to play chopsuey. oh yeah! my sister locked herself in our bathroom and wasn't able to get out so i had to smash the door open. :D oh goodie we've got a broken bathroom door. anyways, i finally got my hands on a working copy of harvest moon btn since i lost my first one. what else...hmmm... that's it. bear out~

^__^ dissecting stuff gets meeh goin!

2005-03-23T12:26:00.000+08:00

align=left>
I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

weee... cute, ne??

katamaran

2005-03-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

weee... its exams tomorrow and I DON'T KNOW SHIT!!!!
see what i mean? i went through elementary and 2 years in high school through sheer dumb luck!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! i feel dumb. or rather i am dumb.
anyways the whole day seems very... annoying. except i had the chance to read my inspiration back. anyway, back to my annoyance.

you see, in every subject, where a teacher seems "close" [or should i say, they feel close to the students because of the plasticity [the term!] the students show them. ok in shorter terms the display of the ever cliche: hipocrisy] with the class, a crying marathon ensues. students start whining and they start crying and start saying "ms./sir don't go we LOOOVE you!". shit. i'm not being the typical love-hater kind of person but face it! dudes!!!! CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE???!!! they. want. to. live. and. LEAVE! duh. they have lives and surely you shouldn't expect them that your world revolves with theirs. they are adults [to some, immature overgrown teens] not US. US means halfway to maturity, halfway in leaving our own Neverland [WAKI!!!], halfway through being a fully functional human being. emotional shit is not the answer to their departure. more like encouragement and motivation.

okay. fine. i'm preaching [right?]. or ranting. anyways, crying over some teacher who'll leave [but will actually move to house near another to-be ex-classmate] is not worth it. hey, you can still see them. go call her/him up. talk. arrange a meeting. heck you can go overboard by going to where they are everyday and keep talking with them until they say: "you know what, you're annoying me". shit.

if you want unity, expect for it to break apart. nothing will be the same forever. remember we were born out of entropy: expect our life to be like that. bear out~

a rant about projects.

2005-03-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

well its been quite a week. my brain cells are letting off their lysosomes and i just had 5 nosebleeds over the week. what a nice week. i've been quite disturbed [more like paranoid] over our dear play prod. yes my dear "audience" [more like the endless silence heard among the silent trees of the cold deserted desert around me], ive been pretty fucked up recently. it's a good thing i'm not like my classmate who is so damn proud about her "depression" [more like the ultimate cry for attention for social climbers like her] coz if i was i would be in a morgue right now. nweiz, i'm cool with reiko now and i'm happy. i just hope she is too. yes a good step for ampersand. nwei, back to the play prod [ooh so much things to rant about school shit]. it's one fucked up exam since the judges are quite "busy" thinking of their "differences". i won't be going any further so as not to blabber certain things i am not to blabber about. the props [finally] are now fixed i am now quite satisfied since the end for this production is nearing. bittersweet it may be its quite nice to see your schedule clean of pencil [and pen and correction tape] marks. nwei hell is not over for people like me: i still have a portfolio to edit, a lab report to invent, and a hell lot more to study for that goddamned long tests to be given to us by next week. and of course the added tension of the fact that our play proper is on monday. geez. i need rest. and sleep. and a knife if i can't take it all anymore. or just kill that classmate of mine who feels "depressed". fucking bitch. doesn't even know what "depressed" and "stressed" means. nweiz i need alil rest soo.... bear out~

when you feel like...

2005-02-20T18:11:00.000+08:00

it's been an interesting week... let's do the nice list first okie?
++good things++
i became a vocalist for a day in the chocnuts!!!
the family day wasn't too boring
so far the tests and quizzes were quite fun

ooh... few good things eh? well there's only one bad thing in my reality
during the past week... and that is the very cooold desert between me and
my friends. the people i should be with. and the worst thing is... it's
all my fault. i turned a small thing into a gigantic thingamajig.
and now i'm crappy. anyways bear out~

been a long day.

2005-02-15T19:46:00.000+08:00

its been a long day and i feel hyperactively shitty. i don't know what to feel. happy or crappy sad or glad. all i know is its shitty. no matter how happy you can get someone is still bound to be sad. and of course vice versa. it is so damn wrong to be singing and frolicking [wrong term but anyway...] while the person beside you fumes silently in anger. of course silence is the answer. but then again happy people often use noise to vent out the "good" aura stuck in their brains like a happy melody you think is okay to have as your lss. shit. crappy day. anyways i also feel victorious!!! for the first time i won something i thought i was going to lose at ^___^ i won a web page designing contest along with other three people who are also good at it!!!! compared to them their work were more orig than mine. anyways enough ranting bear out!~

this is a secret so don't tell.

2005-02-08T15:07:00.000+08:00

hehe i am one evil person. guess what i am actually updating my blog in the middle of a frigging contest!!! wee... wala lang. i just want to tell the world that this is my first time to do this. anyways...bear out~

i really suck at webdesigning-shit

2005-02-06T11:16:00.000+08:00

hayayay... i've been tryingto make this webpagefor thiscertain competition in school and guess what its supposed to be compiled on tuesday and i havent even started on it... i suck... the only thing i'm happy about is that i'm now quite acquainted with adobe [yay-shit]. anyways my dad got quite pissed when my sis and i told him that we have to go to an internet cafe again this week. he got mad saying that on sundays no one should be allowed to go out and do shit on a computer linked to a telephone. shit. i'm already pissed with this contestcrap and now this is supposed to be my last visit to a cyber cafe... shit.... this is one crappy day.. i miss jkt where i can log in anytime. fuck it. bear out~

pa-ksp feeling depressed.

2005-02-04T18:46:00.000+08:00

this is one of my quietest days ever. for the first time i barely shouted/talked more than an hour... heck the whole day i zipped my mouth and for what reason??!!! nothing. i am totally way out of my mind. and just a while ago in school i had my face totally blank. i was pissed irritated and bored at the same time. and guess what i only had a minus 9 in my long test and i didn't even smile. what the fuck's wrong with me?? all i did was sit down and mope in front of my seatmates. i was quiet lonesome depressd, whatever. and during lunch all i did was to repeat some lines in the cardigans' "erase and rewind". fuck it. i feel wasted. i am sad. finally an admittance. i give up i just want to throw myself from the 3rd floor of this mall to its bottom. shit. i am crappy. hmph. i wasted a day filled with something. i blanked out. people asked if i'm fine. i said no. can they help? no. i don't even know if what i'm after is attention. hmph. bear out~

stupid bears suck.

2005-01-30T11:07:00.000+08:00

guess what? i was trying to pain see..and then i tried to squeeze some green acrylic paint out of its tube using my teeth... i ended up almost swallowing half of the tube and digesting some of the fucking paint... i tried to brush my teeth and my fucking toothbrush got green stuffall over it... i said "ah shit, this is fucked up... i feel like i'm eating my brain..." greenery is too much now... nweiz i'm alone and i feel some gaian is irritated with me... shit. nwei bear out~

a long one and quite surprising.

2005-01-29T16:23:00.000+08:00

Its been quite a fucked up week. All the running around and the shit that spills all over campus.. work work work work... that damned choral activity's quite fucked but hey guess what? we have a chance in making it to top three... that's good. i just hope we don't have to compete onstage. it'll be another hellish week served with lunchless days and dark trips back home. in short madilim. anyway. i've just been to a classmates house where i had to practically sit down the whole time. their dog's cute though. a labrador pure breed. cool. and they only got it for 2k. real cool. well as usual there's a downside in every upside. after learning how to play "blue moon' on their piano another groupmate went chatting on their phone with some dude. i tried to practice the piece but then they said it was too noisy. then another damned groupmate of mine said she pities me bcoz i look like a kid who's always being stopped in doing my stuff... shit. that totally ruind my day. stupid bitch i hate being pitied. i don't know why i just made this confession. shit. if only i could do something to actually hurt myself but hey my damned thoughts crowd my mind and steal tha fucking thought of pain. i hate it. i love it. i don't know why. anyway onto the lighter side since i'm fucking depressed [hehe pa-ksp] let me tell you something: i just found out that i can still access some of my email accounts. 5 months all deactivated and shit hey! it still works. amazing technology. pbbt. bear out~

la lang.

2005-01-29T16:19:00.000+08:00

hehe a lil pic fow u sis!

BASHING GALORE

2005-01-13T18:15:00.000+08:00

have you ever tried BASHING! a person you hate?
i mean BASHING! is not bad right? BASHING! is just a thing you do to vent out when people who you love to BASH! pisses you off, driving you closer to the edge of your very patience. BASHING! is not so bad. hey, BASHING! **** is quite relaxing you know. it helps you think how she picks her nose in public, keeps on stretching her vocal chords to reach keys she thinks she can reach. i mean BASHING! actually is constructive criticism? right? BASHING! her all the way gives us time to ponder on things; things that SHE SHOULD NOT DO. anyway. this post is completely stupid. that doesn't matter right? i mean all i need to do is BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!.....

update? nope. ranting? yes.

2004-12-27T16:27:00.000+08:00

let me tell you a lil tidbit about what happened to me during the three important days of christmas.

Day #1: December 24
weeee. we had food and i helped in the cooking. i went around our dirty kitchen/laundry site chopping onions, garlic [gulp], garden peas and cleaning chickens [raw with various amounts of fat clinging to it] and salting em. yep. it was supposed to be one of the most important steps of learning how to cook. anyway, i was pissed off when i found out that i wasnt going to be able to TOUCH [emphasis there] the playstation's controller because of my damned sisters. because of this i ended up gearing up for one of my venting hobbies: the magic mic. yes my dear sweet innocent people. i sang like a lunatic to drive away my pissed-offness so i wont lose control and murder half of my family. good thing i was able to go to my aunt's house and cool off with the music [that is after i sang half the songs in the songbook for the magic mic.]. i made a lil discovery in my aunt's house too. my male older cousin was dancing a gigolo-like dance. he was stripping and we were laffin. good thing he was with us at that time because in the latter part he really stripped off of everythin. hehe he went "ay shet censored na yan!" he almost pushed me down the chair. anyway that's what happened to me that day.

Day 2: December 25
one fucked up day. i wont go saying the lil details i'll just get to the "main event" of the damned day. my parents fought in front of all of us [including my grandparents] all because of a GODDAMNED SCRATCH ON OUR FUCKED UP GODDAMN CAR!!!!
nwei the noise that went with the fight was something i taught i wasnt going to tolerate. the intervention of my sister made it worse. GOD! i was in the middle of my fucking meal and everyone was in chaos. words like 'hiwalayan' and 'giving up' and 'i'm leaving' went around the house like the oxygen itself. it was fucked. but when everything calmed down and my parents were talking my sister out of leaving they told me to give a comment. COMMENT??? fine. i was a good girl. i said what happened is completely normal and it was healthy too. fuck myself. i keep on hiding and i keep on saying that i am affected at the same time unaffected. shit... it really was a good day you know... BUT TIMING IS EVERYTHING PEOPLE!!! WHO WOULD WANT TO SEE YOUR PARENTS FIGHTING ON CHRISTMAS DAY ITSELF??? WHO WOULD WANT TO SEE THE STUNNED LOOK ON YOUR GRANDPARENTS' FACES AFTER SEEING THEIR SON AND THEIR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW SHOUTING AND RAVING ABOUT GIVING UP??? WHO WOULD WANT TO SEE-ACk! *mantra thing flowing* [ohm.][chill kauru...]

Day 3: December 26
a total opposite of day 2. WE HAD SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN! [sense the exaggerated font] nah. we had fun but too much can lead to S.A.D. [hehe shout-out to teacher dawn!] nwei we went to this bazaar near boom na boom and yes. all of us [all 12!!!] went for almost 3 hours of shopping sprees!! i found this cool shirt with the sign of this communist group in the philippines. hehe although the color opposed my school [hehe black and yellow kc eh] i liked it and it's worth 250php. quite big for me but my mum paid for it ^_^. And i also found these emily strange products and i went ballistic: 55O PHP FOR AN EMILY STRAMGE HANDBAG!!! AND IT WAS ORIGINAL!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAH!!! sooo bad. i wasnt able to buy it since it was too expensive for my own pocket. my mum wont pay for it either.. so i went for an emily strange patch and a voodoo keychain instead... hehe it was for 75 php only so i was able to buy it ^_^... BOOM NA BOOM was an ok trip too and i was turned off by one of the chinese acrobats after seeing her armpits. ()^.^ nwei the food was great in Jaimy's Grill in The FOrt, you better taste their baked clams THEY'RE GREAT! so after tons of food shoved into my mouth and 2 rollercoaster rides i was into some vomiting. good thing i didnt. good thing my dad didnt. we were both feeling queasy but hey! i was still able to finish a large bowl of chao fan in chowking. so much for an evening meal... nwei that was it.

happy or sad fun or boring its still the same. i will still try to get myself drunk on new year's eve. >:D

manggagago.

2004-12-23T14:26:00.000+08:00

weee!!! let me tell you something i looooove to do. corrupt people. yes. my corruption level is way off the charts and i am exposing other people to the gamma rays of my corruptedness. this all started when i realized that: 1. whenever somebody says something completely innocent i start to think of other things; 2. i know things i shouldnt know; 3. my "mamee"'s lil sis aked me for some porn. WAAH!!! am i that green? that corrupted? that perverted? wait i'm not a pervert.
i just think green. period. end of my stupid ranting.

why did i write this? wala lang. ^_^

I SUCK!!!!!! hagulgulan na

2004-12-05T17:23:00.000+08:00

trying to cut yourself is stupid.
cutting yourself is idiocy.
if you had cut yourself you are an imbecile.

but what if the blood is what you want?
but what if its what you really need?
but what if its the blood that makes laugh?

trying to be sad if your not is stupid.
fooling yourself is idiocy.
if you were once a hypocrite you are an imbecile.

but what if the loneliness is what you want?
but what if its what you really need?
but what if its the loneliness that makes you stop?

cry again
bleed once more
shed the tears
let the blood flow.

that is what an idiot contains.
hipocrisy, blood and tears.
++++++

WAAHH!!! i suck. ^_^

researching about absinthe

2004-11-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

asteeg!!! i've been doing a bit of searchin and surfin to finf good sources of this bevvie absinthe so i got this site... [Animal Farm-ers!!! natututwa ako!!!!]
http://www.gumbopages.com/food/beverages/absinthe.html

shit.

2004-11-24T17:14:00.000+08:00

a little piece of heaven can kill.
my ______ got a piece of it before.
and now she's dying; not knowing the poison seeping in.
she barely knew what she can do; self-dignity ripped off.

a little piece of heaven can kill.
my ______ got a piece of it last year.
and now she's craving; not knowing the poison she took.
she barely knew what hapiness was; lunacy has taken over.

a little piece of heaven can kill.
i took it too; and knowing that the poison can kill.
and now i'm barely breathing, waiting for death to come...
to rip my head and be his trophy.

++++++
ooh... a little angst from the bottom of my heart
*hands out a bloody mess of veins and blood*

2004-11-15T14:29:00.000+08:00

weee anraming nangyari nung saturday ang wierd!!
first we go to my mamee's house right? and then we started chit chatting and we were doing tarot and then we were eating and we tried to log on this site to see some.... and then the pizza came and we were playing word factory and then...

...
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! soree sis! it was so funny i was looking at the game right? and i saw the word PEET and i was laughing so loud me mam can't get it but they were laughing with me and then... THE RAT. We were laughing and then my sis just said "something's moving under my foot!" we look down and saw a rat on a sticky cardboard. she startes screaming like hall and i was like woah... i didn't know she was scared of rats... it was comic but i said its ok and i started laughin' and pokin' the rat...

anyway it was fun and totally something worth remembring...

and i should've cut off that's rat's tail and put it in my planner.
just a lil remembrance...

hehe.

2004-11-07T15:40:00.000+08:00

weee new blog!